How To Actually Personalize Your Big Day
Somewhere between scrolling Pinterest at 2am and saving your 47th “wedding inspo” post or TikTok, your wedding can start to feel like it belongs to everyone except you and your partner. And honestly? That’s the opposite of what this day should be.
Your wedding shouldn’t look like it came straight from a Pinterest board or a trendy wedding blog (and let’s be honest, both of those can be incredibly deceiving when you’re trying to be budget-conscious and still plan an elegant & beautiful wedding). Your wedding should feel like you—like the inside jokes, the shared memories, and the weird little quirks that make your relationship actually yours. Here’s how to make that happen without it feeling forced or cheesy.
01. Start With Your Story, Not Instagram
I’m going to say something that might sound harsh: stop looking at other people’s weddings for a minute. Seriously. Close the apps, put down the magazines, and just sit with your partner and talk about what actually matters to you both.
What are the moments in your relationship that make you laugh until you cry? Where did you get engaged, or what is the restaurant where you had your first date, or the random Tuesday night tradition that nobody else would understand? Those details—the ones that exist only in your relationship—are what should be driving your wedding decisions.
Your wedding should tell your story, not a curated version of what weddings are “supposed” to look like. Traditions are going out the door anyways, and the story of the two of you is far more interesting than anything you’ll find on a generic wedding mood board.
02. Ditch The “We Should” Mentality
“We should do a sparkler exit.” “We should have a sweetheart table.” “We should do the bouquet toss.”
Says who? The wedding police?
Here’s your reminder: you don’t have to do anything just because it’s traditional or because everyone else is doing it. If you hate being the center of attention, skip the grand entrance. If you’d rather spend cocktail hour with your guests than taking a million portraits, tell your photographer that and/or consider a private first look to knock out those photos earlier in the day. If you think the garter toss is weird (because, let’s be honest, it kind of is), don’t do it.
Every single element of your wedding should pass this test: does this feel like us, or does it feel like we’re checking a box? If it’s the latter, cut it. Your guests will be way more engaged experiencing a wedding that actually feels authentic to you than sitting through traditions you clearly don’t care about.
03. Incorporate What You Actually Love
This is where it gets fun. Think about what you and your partner genuinely love doing together, and find ways to weave that into your day.
Are you both obsessed with coffee? Have a specialty coffee bar instead of (or in addition to) the standard open bar. Do you bond over hiking? Get married on a mountain or incorporate natural elements or a seating chart that remind you of your favorite trails. Did you fall in love over late-night taco runs? Break the chain of a sit down meal and get an awesome taco bar for your reception.
I once worked with a couple who bonded over crossword puzzles, so they created & built together a custom crossword puzzle program with clues about their relationship. Guests during cocktail hour could approach the board and make their guess! Another couple who met at a concert had their first dance to a live acoustic version of the song that was playing when they met. These are the details that make people go “that is SO them” and will make your wedding memorable 10 years down the road.
04. Let Your Venue Tell Part Of The Story
Your venue choice says a lot about who you are as a couple. Are you the kind of people who love getting dressed up for fancy dinners, or are you more “backyard barbecue and good conversation” vibes? Do you love art and culture, or are you happiest when you’re outside?
Choosing a venue that actually reflects your lifestyle makes everything else easier. If you’re outdoorsy people getting married in a stuffy ballroom, you’re going to spend the whole planning process fighting against your instincts. But if you choose a place that genuinely feels like you, the personal touches will flow naturally.
05. Make Your Vows Actually Mean Something
This is where people either get really excited or really nervous, but hear me out: your vows are the most personal part of your entire wedding. This is your chance to say exactly what your partner means to you, in your words, without worrying about what sounds “wedding-y.”
You don’t have to write poetry or be profound. You can be funny, you can be emotional, you can reference that time your partner drove four hours to surprise you or how they always know when you need space versus when you need a hug. The specificity is what makes vows powerful.
And if writing isn’t your thing? That’s fine too! We love using Provenance for vows, ceremony scripts, and more because you don’t have to come up with it on your own, and their online platform walks you through every part of your script so it sounds like you by the time your done AND has all the necessary components!
06. Curate Your Guest List Ruthlessly
This might be controversial, but the people at your wedding directly affect how personal it feels. If you’re inviting people out of obligation, especially ones like your parent’s coworkers, distant relatives you haven’t seen in a decade, or people who make you feel like you have to perform, your wedding is going to feel like a performance instead of a celebration.
Invite the people who actually know you. The ones who’ve been there through the messy parts, who celebrate your weird quirks, who genuinely want to witness this moment.
Use one of these metrics:
“If I didn’t invite this person, would I realistically see or talk to them again in the next 3 years?”
- Yes → Invite
- No → You can politely let it go
OR you can try the emotional test—
“If I ran into them tomorrow, would I want to grab coffee and catch up?”
- If the idea feels warm or easy → Invite
- If it feels awkward, draining, or forced → Don’t
07. Trust Your Gut Over Trends
Here’s the thing about wedding trends: they’re designed to look good in photos, not necessarily to feel good in real life. Dried flowers, maximalist tablescapes (hint: there’s no room for actual food or drink on most of these), trendy color palettes—they’re all beautiful, but they might not be you.
Before you commit to anything because it’s “in,” ask yourself: will this still feel like us in five years? Ten years? When we look back at our photos, will we remember feeling authentically ourselves, or will we cringe at how hard we were trying to be trendy?
Your wedding should feel timeless because it’s genuinely personal, not because you followed all the rules about what makes a wedding “classic.”
The Bottom Line
Making your wedding yours isn’t about being quirky for the sake of being different. It’s about having the confidence to say “this is who we are, and we’re not apologizing for it.” It’s about creating a day that feels so authentically you that your guests leave saying “I can’t imagine their wedding being any other way.” Yes, we lean into the guest experience (that’s a blog post for another day!!) but if it doesn’t start from the two of you, why are you even hosting the event?
So yes, get inspired by what you see online. But then close your laptop, grab your partner, and talk about what you actually want. Because at the end of the day, the most personal weddings aren’t the ones with the most Pinterest-worthy details—they’re the ones where you can feel the love story in every single choice.
With love & confetti,
Amanda
