If you’re newly engaged and already feeling a little overwhelmed, you’re not alone. This is the point in the process where a lot of couples start searching for a planner to add to their vendor team and take stress off of their shoulders. However, I want to acknowledge the fact that upwards of 60% of couples either don’t have the budget for a planner or choose not to hire one. I’m here to speak to those who don’t hire a planner:
Wedding planning takes more work than most people expect, so when the overwhelm hits, that does not mean you’re doing it wrong.
Between social media, TV shows, and well-meaning advice, wedding planning is often portrayed as something you squeeze in during evenings and weekends. In reality, for many couples, it can feel a lot like taking on a part-time job, at least during certain seasons of the process.
This post is here to give you a realistic, planner-backed look at what wedding planning actually requires, why it feels intense at times, and how to approach it without burning out.
How Many Hours Does Wedding Planning Actually Take?
On average, couples spend 200–300 hours planning their wedding from start to finish. That number can vary depending on the size of the wedding, the length of the engagement, and how much support you have — but it’s a helpful baseline.
For comparison, full-service wedding planners often spend anywhere from** 150–250+ hours working behind the scenes on a single wedding and that doesn’t include the number of hours that their couples still need to be in the process for meetings, making decisions, looking through curated vendor lists, finalizing details, and more.
Hiring a planner doesn’t eliminate the work, it typically just shifts and streamlines it.
So if you’re on your own in this process, this is what you can expect from the average hours above, if you plan for spending 250 hours planning your wedding. (Not saying that will be the case, but I’m all for a good “let’s ballpark it” moment!)
- 18 Month Engagement = about 3-3.5 hours a week
- 12 Month Engagement = about 5 hours a week
- 6 Month Engagement = about 9-10 hours a week
- 3 Month Engagement = about 20 hours a week
Why Wedding Planning Can Feel Like a Part-Time Job
Wedding planning isn’t just a list of tasks; it’s a series of decisions layered on top of real life.
Some of the biggest contributors to the mental load include:
- Making dozens (sometimes hundreds) of decisions
- Feeling like you’re in a black hole of vendor & design options
- Balancing a budget with expectations and emotions
- Managing opinions from family and loved ones
- Coordinating schedules, vendors, and timelines
- Carrying the emotional weight of wanting everything to feel “right” because let’s be honest… this is a BIG CELEBRATION!!
Much of this work is invisible. You might not be checking items off a list every day, but your brain is constantly processing, comparing, and planning.
This is also why decision fatigue is so common during wedding planning, particularly early on.
The Rhythm of Wedding Planning: Why It Comes in Seasons
One of the biggest misconceptions about wedding planning is that the workload is evenly spread across the engagement. In reality, it tends to follow a rhythm we’ve seen with our clients:
Early Phase: Vision + Big Decisions
This is the most decision-heavy part of the process. You’re setting priorities, discussing budgets, navigating expectations, and making foundational choices that affect everything else.
This phase often feels emotionally intense and it’s where many couples feel overwhelmed or stuck.
Middle Phase: Booking + Design
Once the big decisions are made, planning often feels quieter. You’re booking remaining vendors, refining design choices, and slowly building momentum.
This phase can feel deceptively calm, which is why it’s easy to disengage from planning here.
Final Phase: Details + Logistics
As the wedding approaches, the workload ramps up again, but this time it’s task-heavy rather than decision-heavy. Timelines, confirmations, and execution take centerstage.
If the early work wasn’t done intentionally or you didn’t recognize all of the tasks that can’t be completed until the end of the process (ie: dealing with final RSVPs, finalizing & printing your seating chart, packing all of your decor, etc.), this phase can feel rushed and stressful.
Why Planning Ahead Makes the Final Months Easier
Most wedding stress comes from decisions and deadlines colliding.
When you learn, plan, and decide earlier in the process, you give yourself breathing room later. Instead of scrambling to understand something right before you need it, you’re executing decisions you’ve already made.
This is why thoughtful planning systems and intentional pacing matter so much.
Making Room for Breaks (Yes, Really)
Just because wedding planning requires focus doesn’t mean it should consume your entire life (and it will try to, TRUST me).
Rather than seeing intentional breaks as a sign of falling behind, recognize that they’re a way to protect your energy, your relationship, and your ability to enjoy being engaged.
Stepping away from planning during quieter seasons can actually make the busy ones feel more manageable. If you want some fun ideas for ways to take breaks from planning, check out this blog post.
A Final Thought
If planning your wedding feels like more work than you expected, know you’re not alone and you’re not doing anything wrong.
The goal isn’t to do everything at once. It’s to understand the rhythm of the process, make decisions with intention, and give yourself permission to plan and pause along the way.
If you’re looking for structure, guidance, and a planner-backed system to help you navigate all of this without hiring a full-service planner, Ring It Up was built for you. It’s a step-by-step wedding planning course designed specifically for budget-conscious couples who want clarity, confidence, and support throughout the process — without the overwhelm.
Whether you use it from start to finish or as a reference along the way, Ring It Up is here to help you make thoughtful decisions early so the rest of planning feels calmer, more intentional, and a lot more manageable.
With love & confetti,
Amanda
